"The initiate is well aware that his instruction will be misinterpreted by malice, dishonesty and stupidity; and not being omnipotent, he has to acquiesce in the perversion of his precepts. It is part of the game. Liber I vel Magi tells the Magus (here defined as the initiate charged with the duty of communicating a new truth to mankind) of what he may expect."
- The Confessions of Aleister Crowley
Hill and Wang, 1969 E.V., page 399
"In-fighting", "bickering", "rivalries", and so forth - such are the terms often associated with The Newaeon Newsletter and many of the articles I have written in The Sword of Horus and elsewhere dealing with individuals and groups claiming to represent Thelema, to be Thelemites. Over and over again I have explained that what I write and say about those that I assert are false or pseudo-Thelemites, charlatans, con artists, lunatics, and so on, has nothing to do with "in-fighting" for the simple and obvious fact that these individuals and their groups are not within Thelema. With their words and deeds they prove themselves quite unthelemic and in several cases even antithelemic while posing as Thelemic, while using and abusing Thelema, misrepresenting the work and reputation of Aleister Crowley, using them as vehicles for their egos' gratification. There is no "bickering" involved in this necessary work that I do, at least not from my side, for I am not bickering, arguing, or anything of the kind. I am merely reporting, analyzing, and rejecting obvious falsehoods - providing the student and reader with another point of view, shedding light upon facts kept hidden in the dark, so that a more objectively critical assessment of the facts may be made, each for him- or herself. Critics are important in every field of endeavor, and while the critic is seldom a popular person within the circles upon which he criticizes, his job is important and it is, anyway, usually the individual or group that is the least sincere and honest, the least efficient and worthwhile, that most objects to the words of the critic. Their objections prove the worth of the critic who has forced them to lose what little control they had over others by employing ignorance and propaganda, revealing the truth by showing others what they truly are behind the masks that they wear.
As for "rivalries", the concept does not apply to myself and Newaeon. It implies competition, and we are not competing with anyone for anything. We are merely defending Thelema to the best of our ability, doing our best to keep it in its original state, which still gives it plenty of room for growth, while reacting mostly through commentary against perversion. So often have we pointed to the perversions of the Nazarene's teachings which have evolved [devolved?!] into modern day Christianity as an example of what we are trying to avoid in regards to Thelema that it should be unnecessary to reiterate that history is meant to teach us valuable lessons, that those who fail to learn from history are condemned to repeat it. Neither I nor Newaeon seek to rival other individuals and organizations claiming to represent Thelema, however, to judge from some of the things they have done and said against us it is clear that they see us as rivals. This clearly indicates that they are indeed, as we have often pointed out, dominated and motivated by ego, and not by the high motives they claim to serve and represent.
The problem is simple, really. A Magus appears in the world, utters his Word, gives his Law, and eventually passes on. After that it is up to his disciples, and his disciples' disciples, and their disciples, and so on, to teach the Law to others. It is natural that as the knowledge is received secondhand, then thirdhand, etc., that misinterpretation and error will creep into the teachings. People make mistakes. It is part of the human condition. And mistakes add up. Then to make matters worse, there are those who are unstable and who, accidentally or intentionally, twist and pervert the original teachings. Worse still are those who, quite deliberately, pervert the teachings to use them in such a way as to gratify their egos, fill their coffers, promote their own philosophies by having them ride piggyback upon those teachings that they twist out of shape for their own petty, personal purposes. At the outset, the teachings of the New Law are destined to be incorrectly interpreted simply because the Magus is speaking from above the Abyss while those that listen to his Word, his disciples and the common masses, are below the Abyss and without Understanding. The well-meaning but unenlightened, the irrational and the unscrupulous, then, compound the problem greatly. The Master of the Temple Understands this and Sorrows, while the Magus also feels that Sorrow but possesses the Wisdom to know the purpose for this dilemma.
The misunderstanding and misinterpretation of the Law and its teachings serves several purposes. Partly it aids in weeding out the worthy from the worthless, the truly gifted and intelligent from the mediocre masses and what I tend to think of as the subhumans. We know who they are! The situation also gives rise to controversy and disagreement, and it is through this passionate coming together that Brilliance is often born into this world.
Without the enemies of truth there would be no need for the crusaders of truth - there would be no contest, no passion, and ultimately the end of Brilliance on this planet. Some might call that Utopia. I would call it boring stagnation.
At any rate, the last Magus to utter his Word, Thelema, and teach his Law was To Mega Therion, the Great Wild Beast 666, Aleister Crowley, and since his passing, his name has continued to be slandered, the lies about Our Father and his Work have persisted, and those who claim to represent him and all that he stood for, more and more each day, twist and pervert the Law of Thelema, sometimes out of ignorance, but mostly with a deliberate desire to do so to use it as a vehicle for their outrageously inflated, intellectually mediocre egos. The situation is always inevitable. Balance is then lost. Now since Equilibrium is the basis of the Great Work, it stands to reason that that lost Balance must be recovered and hopefully maintained, and it is maintained only through constant effort. Therefore, you see, the existence of one G.M.Kelly and the Newaeon network is not only necessary, but inevitable! Furthermore, we owe our existence to those who have perverted Thelema for their own petty reasons. They should not whine and throw temper tantrums because we criticize them. They gave us being. They are responsible for our existence. There would be no need for us if they did not exist in the first place. However, their existence is inevitable, therefore, then, we are inevitable, necessary, and so the struggle for Balance goes on.
Naturally these perverters of truth, these false Thelemites, whine and cry, throw fits and toss accusations about, and wish to crush out of existence the opposing point of view that criticizes them. Yet by their fruits ye shall know them. They are impotent and childish liars who live their lives by double standards. They demand freedom for themselves, and to attract others to them quickly add "and freedom for all of humankind", then they turn around and demand that that very freedom they cry for should be denied to those who criticize them. They preach like a parrot, obviously incapable of understanding the concepts involved, that restriction is a sin! However, disliking criticism leveled at them, incapable of standing naked and proud in the Light of Truth, they quickly move to restrict the critic who is but doing his job, his True Will, and try to shut him up before he can reveal too many of their falsehoods to put them into a position that they cannot defend.
Now this is truly amusing. Things for me had fallen back into a rather dull routine of tedious work after the silliness involving Michael Aquino. The May Encyclical letter got him all stirred up until finally he resorted to threatening its writer, yours truly, G.M.Kelly, by reminding me that Satanists get even in a big way. The smoke he blew cleared away quickly. Things settled down. I made a formal renewal of my vows for a very special reason upon the Autumn Equinox. Then zing! I was provided with new belly laughs.
In that May Encyclical Letter the O.T.B. [Ordo Templi Baphe-Metis] was casually mentioned along with the pseudo-o.t.o.s, the O.T.A. and the O.T.D., as another copy cat pseudo-order that is primarily a vehicle for an individual's or group's ego. It was a small mention. A brief mention. Then a new subscriber wrote and said that I may have been unfair when I included the O.T.B.. To his surprise I admitted that I might have been unfair since "Frater Belarion" did not seem to wish to communicate with me and furnish me with information. The subscriber urged "Belarion" to contact me, he did so in a somewhat tactless manner - subtle, I will admit, but with obvious undiplomatic overtones nonetheless - and I replied, then heard nothing. Next, instead of responding to my personal letter with another letter, he responds by printing his only letter to me after printing a letter to him from the above mentioned subscriber [who, by the way, surely through misunderstanding, somehow misinterpreted my explanation of the True Will], and then my own reply to his letter which he then profusely commented upon. "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword"? Perhaps, but I do not even suffer from a flesh wound. I may, however, die from excessive laughter.
First Frater Belarion [Belarion Israfel EL SHADDAI in full], the unimaginative assumption of the late Jack Parson's name, a man too often regarded as a genius who was little more than an unfortunate madman with impaired intelligence despite his obvious knowledge in certain fields, egotistically adding the name of an angel and a godform - aka Frater Nergal, aka Frater Serahiel or Sarahiel, he obviously cannot make up his mind as to how to spell his name, aka Frater Sodomiticus ac Impudicus [now there's a name for you! no wonder he has written a paper claiming to be the "Ritual Use of Transvestism!] - who finally reveals himself to be one James M. Martin, announces a Period of Silence [an original idea...] then tries very hard to attack yours truly showing that indeed he is ego-dominated, childish, and cannot help but to throw childish, immature temper tantrums. It felt like being hit from behind by a little wimp, hardly noticing the blow, then turning around to watch him running off before I could hit back ... which, of course, was unnecessary fear upon his part. Okay, in all fairness, since he did send me a copy of his poorly produced and useless publication, The Aurea Flamma, Vol. 3, No. 1, October 1987 E.V., he struck the blow to my face, however, he failed to even bruise me and he still ran off with his tail between his legs - a fitting metaphor!
Okay ... okay ... to be fair, he did have some effect. He tickled me into fits of splendid laughter and sincere amusement.
He quoted the letters accurately enough and my letter speaks well of me. His comments, made by way of footnotes, are quite laughable. Mostly he sidesteps the issues I brought forward and avoids dealing with them. Some of his comments are truly insightful. Example:
"Really, frater, I can think of a lot of other reasons a person might have for not wanting to correspond with you!"
A comment that does not at all help his argument against me for he fails to give any of those reasons, beyond the one that I gave in my letter to him, but which does show him, despite his age, to be nothing but a spoiled little brat and a cry baby. It is kind of like him sticking out his tongue, making a face and saying "So there!"
Throughout he proved himself to be exactly what I thought him to be, an immature, ego-dominated, impaired and mediocre intellect [we will be nice and say that that is, of course, only my personal opinion ... ahum], incapable of even the simplest reasoning. Footnotes 8 and 17, for example, show how incapable he is of rational judgment, while the latter one also proves that he is arguing against something with which he is not at all familiar, i.e. The Newaeon Newsletter and my Work.
Naturally he unfairly compares me to a "McCarthyist" thinker simply because I quoted and commented upon the number of members, in that private correspondence, that the Hymenaeus [Caliphate] pseudo-o.t.o. claims - the most amusing thing about this being that his comparison makes no sense whatsoever. Then again, neither does an angry child's attack upon one's mother after one has angered him. He errs, he cries, he whines, he accuses, he of course threatens to sue me [where have I heard that one before?] for a statement that I can back up quite easily, much to the harm of others, and almost in the same breath he claims in print that I have infringed upon copyrights, which I have not, and says other things for which I could sue him quite easily if I chose to. Such amazing idiocy! Of course, I do not like the lies about me and innuendoes that he filled his crazy little publication with, but I am a Thelemite and an American citizen. He has the right to think, speak and write what he will. He too has freedom of speech. Of course "Belarion" then proposes a solution, The Federation of Metaphysical, Scientific, and Spiritual Societies' Organizational Charter, as he calls it, which sounds nice, and there is little in it that one can disagree with, but which is intended to be the first step in crushing out the oppressors which boils down to: Let's all get together and then when some big bully like Kelly comes around we can all gang up on him, take away his freedom of speech, interfere with his True Will, and restrict him in such a way that he cannot criticize us again! It is the wimp talking. The sly little fellow who, in the schoolyard, tries to talk all the other kids into fighting his fights for him because he dares not and cannot stand alone against one who dares to even criticize him.
But how can I take this rather pathetic, unthelemic nuisance too seriously? I loved it when he entitled this fourth part of his "Internecine Rivalries, Old & New" "FRATER KEALLACH VERSUS THE WORLD". I really liked that. It is as flattering and romantic as the late Grady McMurtry's incorrect assessment of me being "a one man army". Yes. I like that very much indeed, for if I am willing to stand against an enemy army, the whole bloody world according to "Belarion"! then I must be a hell of a man. Crazy perhaps, but made of better stuff than someone like "Belarion" who hits and runs, then tries to hide behind others while attempting to incite them to fight his battles for him. Actually, of course, I am not against the world. I am, however, very much opposed to those who would destroy this world, this society, by perverting and misrepresenting Thelema.
"Mr. Kelly is a Thelemic fanatic ... philosophically he is a conservative and militant when it comes to Thelema, and tends to see things in a black and white fashion."
So says the fellow between "Belarion" and I, the before mentioned subscriber to TNN. He erred elsewhere in his judgment, and he erred here. I see nothing in black and white terms, but when a thing is unthelemic it is unthelemic and that is that. It is this attitude that he misinterprets, probably out of ignorance, lack of experience and naiveté. I tend to be conservative, it is true, while being militant seems to imply that I am quite radical, but a true descriptive phrase for me would be that I am "a liberally minded conservative". Militant? I am a Warrior, that is part of the meaning of Keallach, so of course I am bloody well militant! My 5°=6° motto is Militaris Ex Divus, Warrior of God! How can I be anything else and defend Thelema, be "a one man army" and oppose the world - at least the little bit of the world that "Belarion" is aware of, i.e. his own personal fantasy universe wherein he is king, lord god supreme.
A "Thelemic fanatic"? I like that. It is the way I must be viewed by those who cannot give themselves wholly to Thelema, those who do not know the fullness of dedication to a cause, understand what honour and "a sense of duty" means. Yes, I like that very much. Let me be called "a Thelemic fanatic". In this society of insipid charlatans I think it does well as a form of balance.
But enough. I wrote to "Belarion" and thanked him for the hearty laugh, the free advertisement, the attention he gave me to show others that I deserve such attention, and in this place, along with the rest of you, brothers and sisters, friends and enemies, I wish you all a very blessed Yule. May you understand the purpose and intent of these words and so may you all one day come to that greater Understanding which is above the Abyss. I wish you health, happiness and prosperity.
Fraternally yours,
Kelly
Suggestion: send for the October 1987 E.V. issue of The Aurea Flamma, Vol. 3, No. 1 - "Belarion" may take practically any amount for it, and enjoy, and learn from it. He did not see fit to give my address in his publication so that people could write to me and hear my viewpoint, but I fearlessly give you his address: P.O. Box 1219, Corpus Christi, Texas 78403.
[1997 E.V. NOTE: since the writing of this EL, Martin, I am told, disbanded his largely illusory O.T.B. and the address here given may no longer be valid. - ED]
Until recent years I dated a lot of women - mostly charming, intelligent and lovely women. Getting older myself, I naturally tend to date more mature ladies. The drawback to this is that more so with the older women than the younger ones, the old adage is true - you cannot always judge a book by its cover - or in this instance, a woman by her appearance. Things get serious and the woman undergoes a transformation, removing, along with her clothing, a wig, false eye lashes, tinted contact lenses, make-up that changes the appearance of her complexion and the contours of her face, padded bra, padded panties, high-heeled shoes that make even the most shapeless legs look very shapely indeed, and so on until it is obvious that the wrapping was far better than the package itself! This can be very disappointing and misleading. Thinking of this, my mind turned to other matters with similarities ... the Ordo Templi Orientis. Before you "go to bed" with a group of people claiming to be the O.T.O. or "Aleister Crowley's O.T.O.", remember this...
A. How the McMurtry/Hymenaeus [Caliphate] pseudo-o.t.o. thinks of itself and tries to present itself.
B. The true nature of the group without its cosmetics.
C. The façade of the Grant [Typhonian] pseudo-o.t.o.; its false self-image.
D. The reality behind the façade.
E. The way in which the Motta S.O.T.O. tried to present itself.
F. The actual S.O.T.O.
What is it about G.M.Kelly, really, that makes people so angry? Of course, there is no one answer to this question. However, let me respond to it in part with a personal analogy.
My mother and father split up when I was 3 or 4 years old, and my dad took my younger sister and I to live on our paternal grandparents' farm. No, no. Don't give me that poor-boy-broken-family crap. It was great, and the more I look back upon those days on a farm that was virtually a Garden of Eden, surrounded by forests, vegetable gardens, fruit trees and wild berries of all kinds, surrounded by uncles, aunts, cousins and friends, it was greater than great. But let's not get me started on my longing to return to the country! Since that time my mother has entered into marriage more than once. I have a half-sister and some half-brothers I only met with one time, briefly, at a funeral. My mother is now married to a very nice gentleman and he has "kids", in their thirties, from a previous marriage. I have never met or even spoken with them.
Bear with me. I'm making an important point here.
Until c. 1977 E.V., the same year The Newaeon Newsletter began publication, I only had a few vague memories of my mother, although over the years I had casually pieced together a picture of her psyche and life from a few stories I casually wormed out of an aunt or two, the analysis of her handwriting on the back of a wedding picture and on some Christmas cards she had mailed to me soon after the break-up, when I was a boy living on Granny and Grandpap's farm, and, as it turns out, my conclusions were remarkably on the money. We won't get into details here for her sake. They are not important in this place. Suffice it to say that we reestablished contact in '77 E.V. Yet, in all this time we have only actually seen one another a handful of times. Including the times I attended her previous husband's funeral and her current and no doubt last wedding. We have spoken on the 'phone a few times, and we have exchanged numerous letters, as well as cards and gifts on holidays. I can't say for sure what the religion of my half-sister and half-brothers is, but I have little doubt that they belong to some Christian denomination, and find it ironic that I, a follower of the Antichrist, the Beast 666, whom they surely think of as a "devil worshipper" or "satanist", should be the one to so devotedly obey the Mosaic Law by honouring my father and mother while they so often ignore the mother who gave them birth. Still, I have never had an ill word to say about either my mother's or her husband's children. They have absolutely no reason to hate me ... and yet they seem to. Why?
The "children" of my mother's husband have even been ranting and raving lately about how their presumed inheritance is in jeopardy. Their father has referred to me in glowing terms in regards to the attention I give my mother, and in truth, it has been precious little - less than any son should give his mother, which only goes to show you how little attention has been given to her by my half-siblings and how little her husband's children have given him that by comparison I should seem to have given so much. They are afraid that he will leave everything to me rather than them, and in his latter years their expressed greed and avarice must be a terrible realization for my mother's husband. And it is all so incredibly petty and absurd, for that which he could leave me, he, my mother and anyone with any sense would know, I am not interested in possessing. Still, his progeny hate me, as do my half-sister and half-brothers, and their hate causes them to reveal their true and unattractive natures.
Have you begun to see where I am going with this yet?
So what, exactly, is it that causes these people who do not even know me, who, for the most part, have not even met me, to hate me and speak ill of me? It is simply this: by my actions as a decent human being, a devoted son, an honourable man with a sense of duty and compassion, I have acted in such a way as to cause them to be confronted by the truth of themselves. As if I were a magic mirror, they see themselves for what they truly are and they hate what they see - not me, but their own petty, greedy, avaricious natures. However, rather than to face the truth and deal with it, rather than to learn by my example and become better people, they choose what they believe to be the easier way in life. They have chosen to project their self-hatred outward upon an innocent victim, yours truly, as it is easier to hate another than to hate oneself. Of course, the question arises: Why hate at all? Why, indeed? Hate, it seems, is embraced by too many people on this planet, fostered by a religion of hate which preaches love but does not truly practice what it preaches. Now, at times I may say "I hate" this, or "I hate" that, and I may seem to express hate to some people, but what is mistaken for hate is really passion, passionate love and passionate disappointment in the members of my species. I can see, I know the potential of each human being that I meet, that I even look upon, and when instead of seeing that potential being developed, I see them taking the apparently easier way of self-deceit and all that that leads to, I am terribly disappointed and wish to do something, anything, that will wake them up to the truth, to the reality of the situation.
For the most part, then, I am hated because I remind others of their own shortcomings by my very existence. I force others to confront their own "negativity" by my very nature, because of my sense of honour and duty, my honesty and sincerity - and I say this in all true modesty, for "false modesty" is dishonest, and matter-of-factly. And it is not me they hate - therefore I never take it personally. They are, quite unproductively, hating themselves, or rather those qliphothic or demonic elements of themselves that they cannot seem to banish or even control with the sword of reason, which then, of course, take command and exercise that control over them, commanding their psyche to, among other things, hate so that the "demons" may then feed off of that hate and grow even stronger. Furthermore, these people lack the will power to defeat their demons, they recognize that fact, deep down inside, and it encourages them to hate even more, continuing the vicious cycle.
Why do so many people in the occult and so-called "Thelemic" community hate G.M.Kelly? They don't. Not really. If you knew me, if you really knew me, you would know that there is not much to hate. And Understanding this, it would of course be impossible for me to hate, to have a personal grudge against these people, a personal vendetta, a personal reason to want to "get even" with or "hurt" anyone. No. I am simply doing my job. I am simply doing my Will. And of course, when so many others know, deep down within themselves know, that I am a devoted, sincere and true Thelemite who really knows and is doing his True Will, these others tend to be envious, jealous and angry so that it causes them, if only in the deepest part of their subconscious, to recognize the fact that they are complete and utter charlatans, in many cases even trying to deceive themselves. And then, rather than to face the truth of themselves and deal with it, rather than to really set about the work of the magician, they choose the easy way: to hate.
It is possible for me to make these people love me, but to make that my goal in life would be to betray Thelema, my own Will and my own True Self, and of course my sense of honour, duty and honesty forbid that. I could, perhaps, gradually win these people over through insincere manipulation or an extraordinary and constant exercise of compassion, but then so much time would be lost, spent upon these efforts rather than the work that needs to be done. And, after all, I am rather good at what I do, and what I do is quite necessary. I have made my choices, and I have not chosen to enter a popularity contest. I have chosen to accomplish my True Will and devote myself to Thelema. And if my devotion to my Will and Thelema upsets those who recognize this quality lacking in themselves, it's a shame and a pity, but there is little that can be done about it. In truth, if anything can be done about it, not I but they must do it, for it is a problem within their own psyches, it is their inner demons which only they and they alone can face and defeat.
If they choose to.