It should be first noted that this larger-than-usual issue is a double number, completing Volume III.
See the third page (in the orginal printed edition -ED): With this issue of The Newaeon Newsletter, Volume III is terminated at the Crossing of the Abyss in descent. Little did we know that the Crossing of the Abyss in ascent was so soon to be for G. H. Frater Keallach, upon whose shoulders so much of Newaeon's Work rests. Thus the delay.
Following this volume there will be a Period of Silence. However, since the world stops for no one...not even Newaeon!...this Period will be filled by Encyclical Letters, discussing many things and continuing The Sword of Horus whenever necessary to maintain the Balance of the Scales of Justice. These Encyclicals will be distributed at random and absolutely FREE to all subscribers of Vol. III. All others who may wish them are requested to contribute not less than $2.00. Anything over that amount, or any further contributions from Vol. III subscribers, though not necessary, would be happily accepted and put towards the furtherance of our Work.
We cannot say how long the Period of Silence will continue, nor, with any certainty, how many Encyclicals will be distributed and when. We ask you to take into consideration the symbolism of the Abyss.
This dual number of the newsletter is devoted to AN ACCOUNT OF THE CROSSING OF THE ABYSS for the benefit of all those students who may follow. It should be studied most carefully. The subject is a very difficult one to put into words, particularly simple prose.
We thank you for your patience and trust that it will be well repaid by this account. As usual, we welcome any and all comments, suggestions and questions.
Be it known that our Silence does not denote a cessation of our Work, but rather an intensification of our magical efforts.
Finally, we would like to wish all of you a Very Happy Thelemic New Year!
(The above originally appeared on the Title
and first page of The Newaeon Newsletter, Volume III, Number 5/6, March
21, 1981 E.V.. THE ACCOUNT follows here. -ED)
"It is of the first importance that you should understand my personal position. It is not actually wrong to regard me as a teacher, but it is most certainly liable to mislead; fellow-student, or, if you like, fellow-sufferer, seems a more appropriate definition." [1]
Many students wonder why so few have written of their Crossing of the Abyss. The answer to this is both simple and complicated. It is simple in that most of those who have claimed to have faced and successfully gone through this Ordeal have lied, and having lied, are unbale to write of this most difficult subject. The answer is complicated in that this is such a difficult subject, so subtle, so devastating, so utterly beyond reason and rational comprehension, that the few who have actually passed through this Ordeal were unable to put it into words. Therefore, little (in truth) has been written of this most formidable Ordeal. The best accounts of the Crossing of the Abyss, by far, are those written by Our Father Aleister Crowley, the Beast 666, the Master Therion. These accounts, so splendid, so superb, so wonderful in every way, do fail in one way--they 'fail' to relate to the mind of the student, with any accuracy, the experience. This 'failure' is not Therion's. The 'failure' to 'understand' fully lies in the poor education of the student, the poverty of language, and the simple fact that one cannot fully 'understand' until one has actually Crossed the Abyss and attain Understanding.
My task then is a most difficult one. Having successfully crossed the Abyss, I feel it my duty to write an account of it for the benefit of all of those who may follow. Long have I put off this writing for the task is no simple one. This task is further complicated for not only must I make the words of the Master Therion more intelligible to Reason, but I must write as simply as possible so that further obscurity is not created.
There is nothing I can do to make the student fully Understand, and there is little I can do about the poverty of language and the poor education of most students. However, as much as it is in my power, perhaps I may be able to part, just a little, the veils of obscurity.
As it was said above, there is nothing I can do to make the student fully Understand this Ordeal and its subsequent attainment. Only through personal experience may one, if one is diligent, sincere and truly willing to surrender all, finally come to Understanding. No one, absolutely no one, can do this for you.
Finally, let me add that there will be many who will claim that I have fallen; that I have either failed to cross the Abyss or that I have never even come close to facing that Ordeal and now either seek to dupe others or that, for one reason or another, I am fooling myself.
I am not concerned. Neither do I care to be believed or disbelieved. Whether I am branded as a lunatic or liar, or acclaimed as a Master, matters not in the least to me.
In answer to such charges quoth THE BOOK OF THE LAW:
"Fear not, o prophet, when these words are said, thou shalt not be sorry. Thou art emphatically my chosen; and blessed are the eyes that thou shalt look upon with gladness. But I will hide thee in a mask of sorrow: they that see thee shall fear thou art fallen: but I lift thee up.
"Nor shall they who cry aloud their folly that thou meanst nought avail; thou shall reveal it: thou availest: they are the slaves of because: They are not of me. ..." [2]
And further: "Success is thy proof:
argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch! Them that seek to entrap thee,
to overthrow thee, them attack without pity or quarter, & destroy them
utterly." [3]
0°=0°: Took the motto of CEALLACH, "Warrior"; Irish-Gaelic original of Kelly
1°=10°: Retained first motto but changed spelling to KEALLACH without knowledge of Gematria.
5°=6°: Took the motto MILITARIS EX DIVUS, "Warrior of God"; grade obtained during 18 month G.M.R., after which The Newaeon Newsletter was begun, December 1977 E.V..
6°=5°: Beginning of The Sword of Horus.
8°=3°: Reaffirmed original motto,
KEALLACH, with full Understanding of 93/676.
"Initiation is not a simple phenomenon. Any given initiation must take place on several planes, and is not always conferred on all of these simultaneously. Intellectual and moral perception of truth often, one might almost say usually, precedes spiritual and physical perceptions. One would be foolish to claim initiation unless it were complete on every plane." [4]
Indeed! Initiation is not a simple phenomenon. This is clearly and fully Understood by one who has passed through the initiations in the lower Orders and can look back upon those experiences with, one might say, 'true sight'.
As to the Grades of our Order: "...nobody can 'take you through' the Grades of A.·.A.·.. The Grades confirm your attainments as you make them; then, the new tasks appear." [5]
Furthermore: "It should be stated that these Grades are not necessarily attained fully, and in strict consecution, or manifested wholly on all planes. The subject is very difficult, and entirely beyond the limits of this small treatise." [6]
Therefore shall we then pass on to the account of Frater Keallach's Crossing of the Abyss.
Frater K has always been one to shun titles and degrees. It is not exactly that he thought them 'bad' in any sense, but simply that for himself he thought such things an unnecessary adornment for the ego. Therefore he seldom referred to himself in anything but the simplest of terms.
Frater K is thought by some to be, in a word, 'egotistical', however, those who know him better, and few they are, realize that he is blessed with true modesty. He is a man who does not believe in 'false modesty' for he is scrupulously honest and considers it to be a lie. To objectively admit your 'virtues' is just as noble as to admit your 'vices'. Yet, it has been noticed by a few that when Frater K is sincerely complimented in some way he jokes about it and himself; he jokes to cover his embarrassment, caused by true modesty.
This man has always advised students and aspirants to take the slow and steady Middle Path. Tirelessly has he illustrated, by reference to those who have fallen, the futility of trying to race along the Path, jealously and avariciously grasping at titles, degrees and grades.
In this he was right. He did well to advise others to take their time, for most will instrinctively attempt to fly before they can walk--or even crawl. However, in following his own advice he nearly caused himself to miss a Great Event in his life, and possibly even to suffer the worst of all possible fates. Because he shunned all titles thinking little of grades; because he is truly a modest man and thinks of himself as a simple and unworthy fool; and because he travelled the Path of the Wise too slowly (or at least tried to), Frater K found himself on the brink of the Abyss, about to be thrust forward, while all the time he had thought that that Ordeal was yet far, far in his future--if ever at all.
Our beloved brother was, fortunately, awakened to the fact just before being thrust into the Abyss, and due to the careful and subtle education he received from the Secret Chiefs of our Order, Frater K was able to face the Ordeal and pass through it successfully--one might also say gloriously.
But what were the events which led up to this? The events were many and intricately interwoven. Some of them were outstanding while others were so subtle that even Frater K can hardly recall them. Since this subject is so very complicated, and since we cannot fully cover such a thing in such a small treatise (and probably could not do so given more space and a lifetime to write the account in full detail!) we will then deal with only a few of the events, it may be said (though there is no difference) the most important of these events.
You must forgive us if we rely heavily upon the words of To Mega Therion, but we do this for several reasons. (1) Who is there that can write as perfectly as he? Certainly not us! (2) Perhaps, if we write clearly enough, Therion's words might be better understood. In this way then does the present account act as a commentary, while his words might make ours better understood. And (3) you might think of the course of initiation as the travelling through a long and beautifully adorned corridor. One man passes through this corridor then relates what he has perceived, while another man passes through the same corridor and upon relating what he perceived, certain similarities as well as certain dissimilarities appear. Neither man is right nor wrong. One has simply perceived the essential facts somewhat differently than the other, i.e. from another point of view. You might compare Frater K to a man of about average visual perception, while Frater P's (Aleister Crowley's) vision was exceptional. Following then this metaphor, the average person is virtually blind and walks through the corridor of intiation without receiving any impressions. Perhaps, then, by trying to understand initiation by the account here printed the student may some day 'awaken' and perceive for him/herself.
"The Grade of Adeptus Exemptus confers authority to govern the two lower Orders of R.C. and G.D.
"The Adept must prepare and publish a thesis setting forth His knowledge of the Universe, and his proposals for its welfare and progress." [7]
We find the Adeptus Exemptus at "The Temple of Thelema", the name pertaining more to himself than to the place.
Having attained the Grade of Adeptus Minor, the climax of his 18 month Great Magical Retirement and his Augoeides Invocations (employing Liber Samekh) while on Mt. Nebo, not far from "the Steel City", Frater K began, in December of 1977 E.V., The Newaeon Newsletter. The publication is almost solely the work of this one man who often honoured those that have given him ideas or have otherwise assisted him by giving them credit for his work.
The Sword of Horus, which he wrote under his motto as an Adeptus Minor, Frater Militaris Ex Divus, began in 1978 E.V.--the same year as his attainment of the Grade of Adeptus Major, attributed to Geburah on the Tree of Life.
Is it not written: "For whoever desires the Grail has to approach that prize with the sword." [8] Is not the Holy Grail the Cup, the Chalice, the Magical Weapon and symbol of Binah, to which is attributed the Grade of Magister Templi 8°=3°? And this Sword, is it not attributed to the Son of Tetragrammaton, placed in the Sphere of Sol, to which is also attributed the Grade of Adeptus Minor 5°=6°? And is not the Sword the symbol of Reason, by which one obtains Knowledge, a stepping stone only towards true Understanding and Wisdom? This Sword is also, obviously, the symbol of the Warrior, the Adeptus Major 6°=5°.
On we could go illustrating just how perfectly Frater K's career was, but we leave it up to the sincere student to carry each event out to its fullest.
Frater K shunned authority, ay, one might say that he tried to shirk his responsibilities. Desiring neither to follow nor to lead, Frater K wished only to pursue his Way in peace and quiet, solitarily. But Something pushed him on. During his G.M.R. The Newaeon Newsletter was conceived and afterwards born. When attaining to the Grade of Adeptus Major, he had no choice but to Become more Himself, and so, through the accentuation of his martial qualities, The Sword of Horus was brought to life, and no longer could he pursue his course peacefully and quietly.
Our brother did not attempt to rule the two lower Orders for he does not desire the dubious pleasures of leadership, and further, there is little left (legitimately), upon this plane, of the Orders of the Golden Dawn and the Rosy Cross.
As to the thesis which must be written and published by the Adeptus Exemptus, this he did, instinctively, almost unconsciously, with The Newaeon Newsletter. All that is required of such a thesis is to be found in this publication, from Volume I, Number 1, all the way up to this last number of Volume III. It has been argued that a thesis must have a certain form, such as a college thesis, but this is not so. Was not the thesis that Therion published naught but his translation of THE KEY OF THE MYSTERIES by Eliphas Levi, a former incarnation of his?
"9. Let him (i.e. the Exempt Adept
-ED) also be accomplished in Logic. ...
"12. In all this let him be guided only
by clear reason, and let him forcibly supress all other qualities such
as Intuition, Aspiration, Emotion, and the like.
"13. During these practices all forms of
Magick Art and Meditation are forbidden to him. It is forbidden to
him to seek any refuge from his intellect. ...
"16. Then will all phenomena which present
themselves to him appear meaningless and disconnected, and his own Ego
will break up into a series of impressions having no relation one with
the other, or with any other thing.
"17. Let this state then become so acute
that it is in truth Insanity, and let this continue until exhaustion. ...
"19. It may end in real insanity, which
concludes the activities of the Adept during this present life, or by his
rebirth into his own body and mind with the simplicity of a little child.
...
"21. And he shall recall the simplicity
of the Task of the Adeptus Minor, and apply himself thereto with fresh
energy in a more direct manner. ...
"23. And with the reappearance of the Holy
Guardian Angel he may be granted the highest attainments...
"25. Thus shall We prepare him for the
Confrontation of Choronzon and the Ordeal of the Abyss, when we have received
him into the City of the Pyramids.
"26. So, being of Us, let the Master of
the Temple accomplish that Work which is appointed. ...
"27. Also concerning the Reward thereof,
of his entering into the Palace of the King's Daughter, and of that which
shall thereafter befall, let it be understood of the Master of the Temple.
Hath he not attained to Understanding? Yea, verily, hath he not attained
to Understanding?" [9]
Frater K did indeed abandon, instinctively,
all Magick and Meditation during this time, and did devote himself to Logic
and the use of Logic, supressing Intuition, Aspiration and Emotion.
For example: The Sword of Horus was written employing Reason and
Logic. Whatever was based upon Intuition was not used unless it could
be explained by Reason and Logic. Pure Intuition was supressed.
In his writing of The Sword he was perfectly objective, neither hating
nor loving, simply doing his job of presenting the facts not yet presented
for the benefit of students everywhere. He showed no Emotion, but
did his job dispassionately and indifferently. As for Aspiration,
it has already been illustrated how he did not aspire. Frater K merely
went about his Work, doing his Will, lusting not for result, taking pleasure
only in the Going.
On the Adept went, often until total exhaustion
overwhelmed him. And yet further did he push himself when in the
throes of his Ordeal until finally he was reborn into his own body and
mind.
Now, recalling the simplicity of the Task
of the Adeptus Minor, our brother applies himself freshly, and more directly,
to that Task.
But we must not go on here. There
is still much to be said of the events before the Crossing of the Abyss.
"Balance against each thought its exact
opposite! For the Marriage of these is the Annihilation of Illusion."
[10]
Those who were unlucky enough to trap the
Adept in conversation were constantly thrown into confusion. Frater
K would speak from one point of view then subtly begin speaking from the
opposite point of view. At no time would he allow only one thought
to exist alone. It became his habit to bring the opposite thought
into existence so that both might unite and cancel each other out.
In this way did he annihilate illusion.
He would be judged by many to be too optimistic,
by others too pessimistic; by some radical, by others conservative; by
some cheerful, while by others gloomy. Frater K Became all of these
and yet none of these. The illusion which created the appearance
of cheerfulness or gloom, for example, he had, within himself, annihilated,
and what was perceived by others was only what they were capable of seeing
due to inherent sympathies. Therefore, if a certain person saw in
the words and actions of Frater K gloom it was not because the Adept was
gloomy, it was simply that the other person was gloomy and could see not
the cheerfulness.
"The Adept has become so absolutely natural
that he appears unskillful. Ars est celare artem. It is only
he who has started on the Path that can divine how sublime is the Master."
[11]
There were those who have not truly started
on the Path, though with great pretence they claim to be students, magicians,
and the like, who have met the Adept. Many of these people have found
him unskillful and unimpressive. This attitude usually developed
from the fact that they were either too ego-centric to see anything but
their own egos or they actually envied Frater K, realising that he is truly
travelling the Magical Path while they played at Magick, as children pretending
to be cowboys, soldiers or housewives and mothers. (It should also
be here mentioned that the greater number of those who have met Frater
K were quite impressed by him, in several cases, overly impressed by him
-ED)
In many ways Frater K is, indeed, unskilled--this
he will readily admit. Being unskilled in the many 'things' of this
world causes innumerable difficulties for him in the way of finances and
such. Yet so sublime is his purity. Often has he said, and
truthfully, "I am so inept in business, finances, mechanics, so very many
of the common things that every twit and his brother is adept at, but when
it comes to Magick and Thelema...well, I am still a fool, but such a Great
Fool!"
Our brother is, apparently, unskilled in
many of the common things of life, but so pure in his dedication to Magick
and Thelema, so one-pointed, that he has, in just eleven years time, reached
the greatest Ordeal of our Order and attained to the Grade beyond it.
"O.M. (one of the magical names adopted
by Crowley for the grade of 7°=4°) refused for three years to take the grade
of 8°=3° after it was offered him. He thought it almost presumptuous,
taking it now." [12]
"In the month of December the Secret Chiefs
formally invited me, through G. R. Frater D.D.S., to take my place officially
in the Third Order. I still felt that I was not worthy. Not
till three years later did I accept the grade, and then only after having
passed ceremonially through the Abyss in the fullest possible measure."
[13]
Now, it has been pointed out that it is
impossible to refuse a Grade. This is not so. The Grade may
be refused. It merely signifies the recognition of attainment.
It is the attainment itself which cannot be refused.
Like Frater O.M., Frater K refused certain
Grades, most particularly that of the Exempt Adept and the Master of the
Temple. He felt himself unworthy to claim anything beyond the Grade
of Neophyte 1°=10°, (See TNN II.4, p.2). Yet he could not refuse the
attainments nor the tasks, and the ordeals, even unto the greatest Ordeal,
were thrust upon him. Now, finally, does Frater K accept his Grades,
even that of Magister Templi, and the heavy burdens which go along with
these Grades.
Woe unto him who takes the Great Work
lightly!
That one shall be crushed by the weight
of the Universe.
"Being in course of initiation at the time,
I did not realize what was going on. It is only on reflection that
I have come to understand that my relations with these two women (called
'the Snake' and 'the Cat' by A.C. in his CONFESSIONS -ED) constituted an
ordeal; a test of my fitness for the Grade. It is written 'as below,
so above'; and my reaction to these women furnished a sure indication of
how I should act in the greatest circumstances. ..." [14]
(We could go on with this quotation and
many more, but it is important that this account be as brief as possible.
The student is encouraged to study the books here quoted.)
It is a curious phenomenon of initiation
that the ordeals, however obvious they may be ordeals to others, are not
recognized as such by the Adept during the course of initiation, or, at
least, not upon the outset of the ordeal.
It may also be noted in the above quotation
that there is no distinct separation between the events of the Inner Planes
and those of the Outer Plane. In fact, there is no difference.
One of the greatest problems that most
students face is that they are constantly looking to Magick as an escape
from everyday life, when it is actually the deeper involvement in Life.
The events of the common life cannot be divorced from the events of the
Magical Life, for they are One Life. Everyone travels the Magical
Path, whether they believe in it or not, whether they want to or not.
The sole 'difference' between the common person and the Magician is that
the Magician travels the Path with greater comprehension and perception
of the events and their significance, thus the Magician travels the Path
on a higher arc, you might say, obtaining greater benefits from his/her
experiences.
Finally, it should be noted that two women
(basically unwitting pawns employed by the Secret Chiefs) played a most
important role in Therion's initiation. So it is in most cases, and
so it was with Frater K.
Not realising that he was preparing for
an Initiation a year or more in his future, Frater K performed a series
of Magical Opera, employing both the VIII° and IX° practices of the
O.T.O., that is to say, 'Tantric' Magick of an autosexual and heterosexual
nature. The object of the Opus, the Orgia, was to draw to him a suitable
Scarlet Woman, i.e. High Priestess. It was not that Frater K could
not meet women without the use of Magick, but just the opposite.
The Adept had attracted a goodly number of women to him and had had unaccountable
intimate relationships of various durations. This is not to brag
or boast, for it merely implies that he could not find a woman qualified
to assume the Office of Scarlet Woman, that he could not be satisfied easily
in the various levels of a relationship, that he is something of a satyr,
and that these relationships usually could not last long enough to be of
any particular value, due partly to the deficiencies of the women and partly
to the nature of Frater K--he is most intense, passionate, warrior-like
and devoted to his Work.
Basically Frater K invoked Nuit to descend
and take the form of Babalon, and thence, by projecting that form into
the aethyr before him or unto his assistant-of-the-moment, did he unite
with Her and catch the promises of Our Lady that the proper woman would
inevitably be attracted to him.
When the series of Workings was completed,
releasing the great dam of supercharged force, things began to happen dramatically.
First the Lady Deirdre was attracted to
Frater K (see TNN II.1, title page, that number dedicated to her), but
the Lady had already been detected by the Black Brotherhood before the
two could make contact, and Frater K soon learned that she was addicted
to fantasy, at the expense of all fact, and the slavish use of the fantasy
drug, cocaine. Frater K parted from her with stern but loving words
when he discovered her 'contamination', and the Lady parted in a jumble
of Christian biblical ravings of a maudlin nature.
There was also HaShoshannah (see TNN.III.2,
p.11). Here again had the Black Brothers been at work before contact
could be made. This force (for the Black Brothers are something,
basically, more abstract than mere persons) had 'contaminated' yet another
possible Priestess, making her unfit for the office, by addicting her to
an outside masochistic relationship bound to destroy her utterly.
Again the two parted company, Frater K
as lovingly as possible and the woman ranting like the typical Christian
fanatic, spouting unintelligible and misunderstood words from the Bible.
(It should be noted that in both of these
cases, as in others, the women were deeply interested in Magick and Thelema
at the time they met Frater K.)
There was also Sister Dorothy (see TNN.III.1,
title page), whom Frater K had to surrender so that she might follow another
course that was better suited for her, though she was willing to devote
herself to the Adept, and the Adept was loth to losing her.
It was odd but true that each woman who
was sent by Our Lady was blonde and bright-eyed, possessing similar characteristics,
and having a strong, sudden attraction to the Adept, which was reciprocated,
creating a strong bond and relationship. The oddest thing about it,
thought Frater K, was that although he loves variety in size, shape, colour,
nationality, mentality, and so on, if he would have had his 'druthers',
he would 'druther' have a dark-haired wench, of somewhat different proportions
than the ladies he met--all very pleasing in their own porportions, mind
you.
These, and others who answered the magical
call, were not the only ones in Frater K's life at the time, as for example
TNN II.3 and TNN II.5 show, but they do illustrate the success, and failure,
of Frater K's Orgia, from the point of view of that time.
Finally was Soror Cyn sent by Our Lady
of the Stars, Nuit.
By now it should be obvious that Frater
K is not one who is (any longer) easily affected by his relationships with
women. Experience has taught the Adept that women and one's relationships
with them come and go so frequently that there is nothing to do but to
enjoy them while they last. Thus when Dorothy was surrendered, HaShoshannah
and Deirdre were given up, and others were lost in various ways, Frater
K wept not a tear. There was but a sigh and a shrug before moving
on to yet another 'adventure'. This is not to say that Frater K takes
relationships lightly, quite the contrary! but he had learned not to take
them too seriously.
The depth of his Love for Soror Cyn can
be seen by his dedication to her of TNN III.3, his poem to and about her
on page 11 of TNN III.4, entitled CYNTHIA, and the announcement made on
the title page of that same newsletter.
Soror Cyn became the repository, the very
image, of all his hopes and loves, even of his dedication to the Work;
she became to Frater K--ALL.
Frater K had faced numerous and very painful
heartbreaks, utter poverty, near starvation, losses of every kind; he suffered
accidents such as the one that broke his back in 1969 E.V., after which
he set his back himself and walked some miles to the nearest hospital;
he suffered attacks of every kind from the physical and social attacks
of his peers in school, to physical attacks on his person via words, business
manipulation, fists, guns and knives, ay, even magical and psychical attacks!
With each attack came a certain fear, and each fear did he face laughingly
and defeat. By the time he met Soror Cyn he had become the master
of the event, still suffering many discomforts and hardships in life, but
able to handle each and every one of them as the Adept that he was.
Thus did he tell Soror Cyn more than once that nothing and no one could
ever hurt him now--no one, that is, but Soror Cyn herself. Soror
Cyn who had claimed Love. Soror Cyn who was to Frater Keallach ALL.
Their relationship grew rapidly and against
all odds they planned their future.
Frater K took note, as is his habit of
mind, of the symbology involved in such things as her name; for example:
Cynthia is her given name and it means "the moon". The Moon of the
tarot is Atu XVIII (please see THE BOOK OF THOTH by the Master Therion).
The Moon is also attributed to the 13th Path of Otz Chiim, which crosses
the Abyss, from Tiphareth to Kether, and to which is attributed Atu II,
The Priestess of the Silver Star. Cyn was the name given to her by
Frater K, instantly, instinctively, outwardly and consciously because of
its sounding like the word "sin". However, Cyn in Hebrew is KIN (Kaph,
Yod, Nun-final) which comes to the numeration of 80 (final numerations
seldom used in Gematria -ED), which is also the numeration of Yesod, ISVD,
the Foundation, the 9th Sephira of the Tree of Life to which is attributed
The Moon. 80 is also the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew letter
Pe (Ph) which is called "the mouth", but by the position of the 'tongue'
it can be seen, by the Initiate, that its 'truer' meaning is the kteis.
This letter, Pe, is attributed to the 27th Path to which is also attributed
Mars and Atu XVI, The Tower, variously called The Blasted Tower, The House
of Falsehood, and The House of God; its phallic symbolism should be obvious.
80 is also the numeration of MM, Mem, the name of the Hebrew letter attributed
to the 23rd Path to which is attributed Atu XII, The Hanged Man.
And, finally, the numeration of the Word of Frater K's Will, M.·.E.·.D.·.AL,
is 80, i.e. M = 40 + E = 5 + D = 4 + AL = 31 = 80, either in Hebrew (Mem,
He, Daleth, Aleph, Lamed) or in Greek (Mu, Epsilon, Delta, Alpha, Lambda).
Whereas Cyn in Greek is KYN (Kappa, Upsilon, Nu), coming to the numeration
of 470, the same as that of OY (Omicron, Upsilon) meaning "Not".
Etc., etc., etc.!
The reasons for this apparently over-long
digression is to point out how Frater K's mind automatically works, how,
due to the phenomenon of initiation, the Adept could be in possession of
so many clues as to what to expect and yet not realise the importance of
his knowledge, and lastly to show that this was no mere 'adventure' for
Frater K.
Please note: "And this His stability
hath the number 80, for that the price thereof is War." [15]
"But upon the great sea shall the Master
of the Temple find neither star nor moon." [16] (Here it should be
noted that Frater K could neither make contact with Soror Cyn nor Soror
S.O., "Star", after his attainment unto the Grade 8°=3°, attributed to Binah,
the Great Sea. Soror S.O. chose the name "Stella" when educated in
her native land of Taiwan by its Sacred Heart school. Knowing no
English at the time, when the nun thrust a piece of paper before her face,
filled with English names, and told her to choose one, she, of course,
chose randomly, Stella, which is the Latin word for "Star".)
"...the moon shall not lend thee of her
lustre..." [17] (Once in the course of the Ordeal, Frater K was not
helped in the least by the woman who had led him there.)
"The chariot itself is the lunar crescent,
waning. The canopy is supported by eight pillars of amber." [18]
(The Chariot is, of course, the Great Work. During the Ordeal 'the
Moon" was surely "waning". And to make things even more complete,
during this time, another young woman was drawn into the events 'on earth',
as it were, and though she played a very small part in this drama her name
is worth noting: AMBER.)
"Therefore art thou called Understanding,
O Babylon (sic), Lady of the Night!" [19]
"There appears in the stone immediately
the Kamea of the Moon." [20]
On could we quote as we could detail the
multitude of symbols pertaining to this Play of Nuit, but this must be
sufficient.
The point we wish to make here is that
this relationship between Frater K and Soror Cyn was no common one, and
that what occurs upon the Inner Planes also occurs upon the Outer Plane.
Those who would think that Magick deals only with the mind and/or fantasy
are fools, for it deals also, and simultaneously, with the body and fact.
The Master of the Temple fully real-izes that there is no difference (AL
I.4).
Furthermore it should be noted just how
important the Moon symbolism is to the Ordeal and subsequent Initiation,
both in the Master Therion's case and in the Master Keallach's.
Before we go on we should recall the mention
of the intervention of the Black Brotherhood.
To put it as briefly as possible:
Frater K was approaching the most critical ordeal of his career.
He already posed a serious threat to the Brothers of the Left Hand Path.
Not only is Frater K a devout Thelemite furthering the Work of Thelema
and the Beast 666, thus conflicting with the ways of false-Christianity
(i.e. that religious aberration almost contrary to the actual teachings
of Jesus of Nazareth, a figure obscured by mythology), but he posed an
even greater threat to them in their endeavours to pervert the teachings
of the Master Therion by their use of such qliphothically-dominated individuals
as have been written of in past Sword of Horus articles. If Frater
K went on to cross the Abyss and Become a Master of the Temple, the threat
to the Dark Brothers would be multiplied an hundredfold. Thus did
they attempt to stop the Adept in every way possible.
But here is the twist of great interest.
The Black Brotherhood itself, in its efforts
to defeat and destroy Frater K, were actually being unwittingly employed
by the White Lodge, the Secret Chiefs of the A.·.A.·., to propel Frater
K forward into the most horrendous ordeal imaginable!
Imagine it as a great celestial chess game.
The Brothers of the Right Hand Path, the Secret Chiefs of our Order, manipulated
the white pieces, while the Brothers of the Left Hand Path manipulated
the black pieces. All else, all others, Frater K included, were naught
but the pieces on the game board. (And yet this is not exactly true.)
White had first move, thus the advantage, and, in this case, white checkmates.
Back to the account.
Obedience [21] did Frater K give to the
Order. Intellect [21] did he employ, deftly wielding his Sword.[21]
His Mystic Number as an Exempt Adept was
10 [21]; note well Liber ILDH XLIX svb figvra DCLXXVI (First Revision)
in TNN II.4, and how 10 doth make the number of the Beast, 666, the number
of KEALLACH, spelled in full, 676.
As an Exempt Adept was Frater K given The
Vision of Love [21] by way of Soror Cyn and the bright future that she
promised and symbolised. So much did she mean to him, so much more
than merely personal love, and so much did Frater K know and yet not realise.
Without thought, almost matter-of-factly, certainly without the intention
of actually accepting the Grade of 8°=3°, did the Adept take the Vow of the
Master of the Temple: "To interpret every phenomenon as a particular
dealing of God with my Soul." This he did long before and oft did
repeat, not because he wished to face the Abyss and accept the responsibilities
of a Magister Templi, but simply (or so his reason told him) because it
was a fine thing to vow.
Through great effort, Frater Keallach and
Soror Cyn came together, she having made a journey of 937 miles to be with
him. Their time together was very intense and full, of more substance
than a lifetime of experiences for most others. They shared so much;
they loved so deeply, tenderly, passionately, completely. Even the
tarot and the I Ching, infallible guides for Frater K, agreed that all
was perfect and that the two who were one should live as one in the place
from which Soror Cyn had come.
Then Soror Cyn had to leave the Adept for
a time, to rejoin him later and travel with him to their home, which Soror
Cyn was to look for upon her return.
As Frater K watched her plane taxiing down
the runway he fought back the tears--and an ominous forboding.
"Eve, loth to be thought not circumspect or firm enough, urges her going apart, the rather desirous to make trial of her strength: Adam at last yields: the serpent finds her alone". [22]
"Would thou hadst hearken'd to my words, and stay'd/With me, as I besought thee, when that strange/Desire of wand'ring this unhappy morn/I know not whence posses'd thee; we had then/Remain'd still happy, not, as now, despoil'd/Of all our good, shamed, naked, miserable." [22]
Frater K feared the machinations of the Dark Brothers. He realised how they had interfered before and he discovered a cunningly wrought and long established 'device' of theirs which had prevented a great deal of his astral work during the past few years (at least so far as his Persona was concerned, they not being able to seriously interfere with the Work of his Magical Self nor his True Self), and he was determined not to allow them to destroy this relationship and all of his plans, personal and magical. (Note: In the majority of Frater K's relationships termination was brought about naturally--"the Black Brotherhood" is not a scapegoat for a paranoid mind. -ED) To this end he warned Soror Cyn that their enemy would not stop here, that, in fact, they would double their efforts to bring about dire calamity. Yet his words of warning were not seriously enough taken.
At one point, during their separation of nearly 1,000 miles, Soror Cyn called Frater K in the conventional manner. While they spoke Frater K had a passing premonition and he warned Soror Cyn that her ex-fiancee might become violent, influenced by the Black Brotherhood. She, of course, brushed this warning aside, claiming that she had known the man for years and that he was not capable of a violent act, least of all directed at her. Some hours after they rang off, Soror Cyn called again. She was hysterical. She had consented to see her ex-fiancee to return some of his property to him and he became unreasonable and violent, trying to punch her, succeeding in kicking her, ripping her blouse, and otherwise humiliating her in public.
Yet she did not learn to heed the warnings of the Adept.
"I cannot even say that I crossed the Abyss deliberately. I was hurled into it by the momentum of the forces which I had called up. For three years, save for spasmodic and half-hearted incidents, and the great moment in Cairo..., I had been fighting against my destiny. I had been building up a great dam. My occasional return to Magick had been more in the nature of occasional sprees than anything else..." [23]
This too was true for Frater K. It had been long since he had actually practiced Magick, save for a few moments here and there, and when his time came he too was hurled into the Abyss by the momentum of the forces which he had called up, almost foolishly.
"Here abideth terror, and the blind ache of the Soul..." [24]
"Such an ecstasy of anguish racks me that I cannot give it voice, yet I know it is but as the anguish of Gethsemane." [25]
Things began to go wrong. Simple words were being only half-heard or half-read and thoroughly misunderstood. Soror Cyn had been touched by the Black Brothers and she became confused. The 'contamination' became worse and this most intelligent woman, blessed with superb reason, became totally unreasonable. Everything that Frater K said, or wrote, or did, was wrong. It seemed he could do nothing right. He was given only a choice of errors and mistakes to make.
The Adept felt impotent, unable to do anything effectively to adjust the situation. His frustration grew, so too did his anger. He feared losing Soror Cyn to the forces of Unreason, of losing all that she meant to him, of losing her soul, in a manner of speaking, to the Black Brotherhood. The Lady Deirdre's fate was horrid, and so too was HaShoshannah's, whose enshrouded astral form once appeared beside Frater K, in bed, early one morning past. (Dorothy had been spared a horrible fate by Frater K's grasp of the situation and timely surrender of her.)
Putting the Ordeal into common words misleads. As common as the essential facts may seem, do not be fooled. The importance of this drama was great, not only for the individuals involved, but for Thelema and, ay, even for all of humankind.
The strain was terrific and so many miscellaneous
events contributed to this tragic play that that strain was greatly intensified.
Frater K for the first time in his twenty-nine years of life began to suffer
from asthma, the ailment which bedeviled S.L.MacGregor Mathers, Allan Bennett,
and Aleister Crowley. (An ailment conquered since Crossing the Abyss.
-ED)
Worse still, though never before, and never
since, showing signs of a weak heart, Frater K suffered from a condition
called arrhythmia, i.e. the sudden, wild and erratic beating of the heart.
The normal treatment for such a disorder is tranquilizers, rest, and escape
from the source of tension that causes this. Disregarding the first
of these, and unwilling to rest or escape, Frater K's condition worsened
until at one point he fairly thought that his heart would beat right through
his chest and explode. He was trying desperately to reason with Soror
Cyn, over the 'phone, at the time, and to give her words of loving comfort,
but to no avail. The pain took him by surprise and Soror Cyn, now
an unwitting pawn, mocked his pain.
The Adept let the receiver fall to the floor and
clasping his chest as if to hold his heart in place, he got up and began
pacing the confines of the sacred temple which was also his home.
Finally did he come face to face with an image of himself--he stood before
a full-length mirror. In fury and pain the Adept cried out and with
fists clenched all but pulverized the mirror and his image, his false-self,
therein, totally annihilating it.
The pain vanished.
The fury that Soror Cyn had more than once
told him to contain, saying that it was not good, saved his life...and
more.
"The Grade of the Babe of the Abyss is
not a Grade in the proper sense, being rather a passage between the two
Orders. Its characteristics are wholly negative, as it is attained
by the resolve of the Adeptus Exemptus to surrender all that he has and
is for ever. It is an annihilation of all the bonds that compose
the self or constitute the Cosmos, a resolution of all complexities into
their elements, and these thereby cease to manifest, since things are only
knowable in respect of their relation to, and reaction on, other things."
[26]
Thus did Frater K, the Adept, become the
Babe of the Abyss; a naked and defenseless child in a very hostile environment.
Frater K came to realise his situation
and he resolved to surrender all to pass through the Ordeal from which
he could not turn back. He had no choice but to go on, for giving
up meant defeat and failure and he would not permit those in his life,
least of all in this particular battle. But little did he realise
just what ALL was.
There was a brief moment of calm and Frater
K, fighting for peace and the control it might bring, attempted to relax
with a hot bath. It was his habit to shave when bathing, and to this
end did he have a mirror placed before him, propped upon the faucets.
He took some time to examine his face, noting that he was suddenly losing
that youthful quality--that he was beginning to look old and worn, weak
and ill, noticing that he was beginning to go bald. Such havoc did
his Ordeal cause. Suddenly, in the mirror, a marvelous thing did
happen. In the reflection of the speculum the background began to
fade out, leaving the appearance of a void behind the image reflected therein,
and that image was no longer his--and yet it was his image. He sat
stunned and amazed to see his own face gradually hidden by the superimposed
visage of horror. He had, moments before, called forth the name of
his Angel, but this thing that was in the mirror was not his Holy Guardian
Angel who had left him some time ago. Immediately he realised the
truth...
Quickly did he banish the image and all that pertained to it until again the mirror reflected normally. He continued his bath, more with the view of purifying himself for battle, then left it. From the trash he removed the half of the full-length mirror that was still intact. This he set up in the centre of his Circle of Art, within his Temple, and then did he purposely call upon Choronzon.
"If Choronzon wants to battle now, picking the time," thought Frater K, "then I shall meet the bloody bastard in battle, and I shall chose the place!"
"The name of the Dweller in the Abyss is Choronzon, but he is not really an individual" [27]
"Choronzon is described by Sir Edward Kelly as 'that mighty devil', as the first and deadliest of all the powers of evil. Rightly so, for although he is not a person, he is the metaphysical contrary of the whole process of magick." [28]
"And, because he is himself, therefore he is no self..." [29]
"During all this time I had astrally identified myself with Choronzon..." [30]
"Choronzon hath no form, because he is the maker of all form; and so rapidly he changeth from one to the other as he may best think fit to seduce those whom he hateth, the servants of the Most High." [31]
"For Choronzon feareth of all things concentration and silence: he therefore who would command him should will in silence: thus is he brought to obey." [31]
"Choronzon is dispersion; and such is his fear of concentration that he will obey rather than be subjected to it, or even behold it in another." [31]
"All the time he (the Scribe) had a sense of being protected from Choronzon, and this sense of security prevented him knowing fear." [31]
"And they have thought that I could not smile, but I smile upon whom I would seduce..." [31]
How well doth the Adept now know that horrid, leering smile!
Into the mirror before him Frater K evoked Choronzon. Instantly the background again changed to that featureless, colourless void and over the image of the Adept that of Choronzon gradually appeared. Upon his 'evil' face was that awful sneer that shall never be forgotten by the Adept. Constantly did his visage change, from a horrible, grey-furred beast to a black, scaly, reptilian creature, and so on, over and over again. Unflinchingly, silently, did Frater K stare into the demonic eyes of Choronzon, concentrating his full will into that gaze. Although repulsed by the images, he did not permit his stern, silent concentration to be broken. Each time that he had nearly gotten a fix on any particular form assumed by Choronzon, that devil would blur and shift, changing its form. It was a terrific battle of wills, during which, the whole time, Choronzon leered at the Adept, tempting him to curse him or otherwise do aught to break his concentration. But Frater K was wiser, thanks to the learning he had obtained from the words of To Mega Therion.
The battle of wills went on, silent, yet as forceful as the explosion of a nuclear device. The sweat literally poured from Frater K's entire body. His eyes were sore and watering, but he would not break his gaze, not even to blink. Neither would he move a muscle. Naught could make him break his concentration. Later, even he was to be amazed at just how superb his concentration was at that crucial moment.
On he concentrated, thinking: "I will beat you, you bloody bastard. I will defeat you."
Did minutes go by or hours? There was no way for Frater K to know. all time seemed suspended in that frozen moment of battle. Finally, the battle was done. Frater K was unquestionably the victor. He had beaten that mighty devil, Choronzon.
Then did the Adept collapse from total exhaustion, losing consciousness for several hours within the Magick Circle of Art.
It was at the moment of victory, or was it the victory itself? that Frater K realised an important 'truth' concerning Choronzon. He is not a true being, an individual; Choronzon is dispersion. This much has been written, but that which Frater K could nowhere find written is that Choronzon is the false-self, the not-self, as opposed to the True Self, i.e. the Holy Guardian Angel. As ones Angel is the Genius, so Choronzon is ones Evil Genius, that which is accepted by the Black Brothers while rejecting the H.G.A. and the Supernal Triad. Choronzon is then the same, in essence, but different in form, for each Adept that meets 'him'. The concept is more subtle than it at first appears and should be meditated upon.
This would appear to be the climax of the crossing and yet there is anti-climax.
Frater K gave up his home and Temple. He quit his job and with but little more than $200 to his name. He gave away his furnishings and many long cherished items, even the greater part of his vast library did he surrender, keeping but the volumes most essential to his Work. When he had finished, all that he had was what he had packed into his late-model, rusting station wagon, and in this he drove off to spend the last week of October in silent retirement at a friend's home in the country.
Was it all over? He had no way of really knowing.
During this week of peace and quiet he took long walks in the woods, studied, and otherwise relaxed and reflected. This time was, for the most part, rather uneventful. However, there was a kink in time which Frater K still cannot explain.
It was a lovely autumn day and the Adept went walking in the hills and forests. Before leaving the house, Frater K checked his faithful watch with the radio, a clock and another watch. All agreed as to the time. During his walk the only odd thing that he noted was checking his timepiece once or twice and thinking that it had certainly felt as though more time had passed. Upon returning to the house he discovered that all of the other timepieces agreed as to the time, but that his was precisely one hour behind. This watch never failed him before and it has never failed him since. Somehow Frater K had lost an hour out of his life. We will not speculate upon what happened during that hour, though we feel certain that a chance onlooker would have noticed nothing at all during that time, but we will note that this kink in time occurred during a period when the Adept was approaching the Sphere of Saturn, otherwise known as Kronos or TIME.
The following are three poems that Frater K wrote during this brief retirement. Two of them are untitled and one is not quite finished and so they shall remain.
October 31st finally came around, Hallowmas, and Soror Cyn did not arrive as planned and promised.
November 1st the Adept's heart was very heavy, but he had determined to see things to their end, whatever their end might be, and that Saturday he began a long journey in his packed, patched-together, automobile...alone.
"To attain the Grade of Magister Templi, he must perform two tasks: the emancipation from thought by putting each idea against its opposite, and refusing to prefer either; and the consecration of himself as a pure vehicle for the influence of the order to which he aspires.
"He must then decide upon the critical adventure of our Ordeal; the absolute abandonment of himself and his attainments. He cannot remain indefinitely an Exempt Adept; he is pushed onward by the irresistible momentum that he had generated.
"Should he fail, by will or weakness, to make the self-annihilation absolute, he is none the less thrust forth into the Abyss; but instead of being received and reconstructed in the Third Order, as a Babe in the womb of our Lady BABALON, under the Night of Pan, to grow up to be Himself wholly and truly as He was not previously, he remains in the Abyss, secreting his elements round his Ego as if isolated from the Universe, and becomes what is called a 'Black Brother'." [32]
As our brother journeyed within the Inner Planes of Consciousness, so too did he travel upon the Outer Plane. Nearly 1,000 miles did he drive, further than he had ever driven before, with hardly a thing to eat or drink, and very little rest. On he drove, once more pushing himself to total exhaustion, often travelling well over the legal speed limits.
Finally he reached his destination. Soror Cyn had spent much time searching in her home state for what would be Frater K's first real 'home' and what she called his "homecoming". Now he saw, for the first time, what Soror Cyn had often called, in letters, "Our House".
Frater K pulled in the driveway and stepped out of his car. He was very tired, hungry, and wanted a bath. He desired most simply to be held, quietly, by the woman he loved, the woman upon whose shoulder he had once cried, the woman who had vowed love to him, the woman who had once shared a life with him in an incarnation so long past as to be before recorded history. (At that time she led That which Frater K is, then another, to the Abyss, whereupon he failed, was turned away from the Abyss, and became a Black Magician, one of several who plotted and achieved the destruction of an antidiluvian society.)
Soror Cyn exited from the house and upon her face was an expression of mixed hate, dispassion and fear--all totally unreasonable since Frater K had shown her nothing but deep Love, which she once returned.
It was utter chaos and hell!
Frater K could not even get near her, so fearful was she, so he did not force himself upon her. They had had a pact that if there should ever be trouble between them they would begin to resolve it by taking each other in their arms. Frater K knew that by the act of a simple embrace the 'contamination' could be cleared away and she could be 'purified' once again, yet he could not hold her and he was loth to exercise violence--one of the things he was senselessly accused of. (The act of violence displayed in the smashing of the mirror was, in part, a specific, intuitive act of controlled violence, much like the release of steam from a kettle, and that was in private. -ED)
Off and on this went for a day and a night. At one point a fellow acquainted with Frater K through the mail, who lived nearby, and who had vowed to assist him should ever he need it, failed to live up to his promise. At one point he thought he was being wise in spouting ill-quoted passages from THE BOOK OF THE LAW, then was shocked upon receiving the answer as to what the Adept intended to do. Sitting cross-legged upon the hood of his car, which was parked in a place called War Memorial Park, his lodgings for the night, the Adept shrugged and replied: "What can I do? If every action is a wrong action, then I shall follow the Way of the Tao and do nothing." And that is what Frater K eventually did--nothing.
He was, during the course of that day, betrayed by people that he knew and even people who did not know him. At one point a woman, hardly known by Soror Cyn, upon a brief chance remark, decided that our beloved brother was a liar and told Soror Cyn so. Soror Cyn never even attempted to question Frater K about it but instead preferred to call him, the soul of honesty, a liar.
Having been denied lodgings at all of the local boarding houses, not to mention at his own "home", and being very short of funds (with winter fast approaching), after trying to reason, crying, pleading, raising his voice in anger, trying to write down his feelings, and finally just sitting, cross-legged in silent meditation, Frater K slept in his cramped vehicle. It was a most cold and uncomfortable night.
The climax was reached on Monday morning, when he awoke with the rising western sun, and without giving his farewells, left that place for a destination unknown, with very little money in his pocket, surrendering Soror Cyn--probably forever.
"Easy to say. To abandon all,/All must be first loved and possessed./Nor thou nor I have burst the thrall./All--as I offered half in jest,/Sceptic--was torn away from me./Not without pain! THEY.../stripped me of/Wealth, health, youth, beauty, ardour, love." [33]
As Frater K drove away from there sometimes he wept bitterly, sometimes he cursed aloud the Black Brothers, ay, even the Secret Chiefs, and sometimes he laughed at his own folly and the utter absurdity of Life and the Universe.
And the newly born Master of the Temple thought: "Before ALL can be surrendered one must first have ALL." The final surrender of all was not so much in giving up the material possessions, but rather in giving up the woman and all that she symbolised, every hope and dream cherished since childhood, and yet so very much more.
The true act of surrendering all was the moment Frater K silently and without farewells left that accursed city behind--and the woman of all women, of all time past, that he had loved completely.
All, like everything else is relative to the point of view. In this surrender did he gain victory and but for miles left to drive had he crossed the Abyss.
"This experience has shaken me utterly; it has been a terrible struggle to force myself to this record." [34]
"The Trances are simply isolated experiences, sharply cut off from normal thought-life. To cross the Abyss is a permanent and fundamental revolution in the whole of one's being." [35]
"Love destroyeth self, uniting self with that which is not-self, so that Love breedeth All and None in One." [36]
"As it is written: In the hour of success sacrifice that which is dearest to thee unto the Infernal Gods!" [37]
Frater K wandered for a time and in his wandering is there little to report. There was but one thing of interest to here recount.
While sleeping in his car, perhaps it was in Memphis, there came to the Master a vision, definitely not a common dream. He found himself living another reality within the astral state of consciousness, as he wrote, and as he watched the night sky he observed stars coming together to form something like "starry jellyfish-like creatures" that sailed through the darkness. One of these creatures reminded him of the ocean stringray.
Dawn was coming and he observed the sky filled with swooping ravens, yet no common ravens were they. These ravens were very black, rather deep shadowy, composed of the absolute negation of Light, without depth or feature. They swooped and dove at the Master, whereupon he threw a projectile at one of them which glanced off of its beak in a shower of sparks. For some reason the Master felt compassion for these horrid creatures. Two of them then descended and transformed themselves into attractive women who offered him cakes. He turned them away.
It was much later that the Master looked up, in his books of Magick Art, the Qliphoth, and sure enough he found: A'arab Zaraq, the Ravens of Dispersion, the qliphoth of Venus (Goddess of Love), carrion birds as opposed to the dove, the sparrow, and other symbols of Venus.
A final jest (or joust?) with the Master? Perhaps. If so, the Master Keallach's was the last laugh.
"Nothing but the realisation, born sooner or later of agonising experience, that its whole relation through Ruach and Nephesch with Matter, i.e., with the Universe, is, and must be, only painful. The senselessness of the whole procedure sickens it. It begins to seek for some menstruum in which the Universe may become intelligible, useful and enjoyable. In Qabalistic language, it aspires to Neschamah.
"This is what we mean in saying that the Trance of Sorrow is the motive of the Great Work.
"This 'Trance of Sorrow' (which must be well distinguished from any petty personal despair, any 'conviction of sin,' or other black magical imitations) being cosmic in scope, comprehending all phenomena actual or potential, is then already an Opening of the Sphere of Neschamah. ..." [38]
"This soul can never be injured, never marred, never defiled. Yet all things added to it do for a time trouble it; and this is sorrow." [39]
"Behold where thine Angel hath led thee! Thou didst ask fame, power and pleasure, health and wealth and love, and strength, and length of days. ...and lo! thou art become as one of These. Bowed are their backs, whereon resteth the universe. Veiled are their faces, that have beheld the glory Ineffable." [40]
Frater K finally returned to his native city, there to suffer the worst of the Trance of Sorrow in virtual Silence.
The depth of this Sorrow cannot be expressed in words. And mistake it not, this was no common sorrow. The Master did not grieve merely for a lost love. Soror Cyn represented much, much more to him; in part we have already written of, yet also did she represent all of his hopes for humankind. At the critical moments of his Ordeal when she failed him, so too did all of humankind fail and disappoint the Master. Ay, the very Universe proved itself unreasonable and senseless through her, and yet...hope remains for humanity. It is a tiny, weak hope, but it is hope all the same. Hope beyond reason and sense.
"In The Vision and the Voice, the attainment of the grade of Master of the Temple was symbolized by the adept pouring every drop of his blood, that is his whole individual life, into the Cup of the Scarlet Woman, who represents Universal Impersonal Life." [41]
"I do not regret my futility or even my errors. The attainment of the Grade of Magister Templi had to be paid for." [42]
Now, as to the nature of the Order of the A.·.A.·.. This is a thing most horribly misunderstood. There are those that have a few worthless pieces of paper, signed by others with but a few worthless pieces of paper, and upon these papers all that is attested to is that the owners of these documents are aspirants unto the A.·.A.·., i.e. that they are aspiring towards the Order of the A.·.A.·., but that they are not, in fact, actually members of the Order! Still they flaunt these minor documents as if they were proof positive that they are the highest possible adepts--while the documents themselves only call them "Probationers" and "Neophytes"! The whole thing is rather silly.
The A.·.A.·. is not a club that one can join. The initials stand for Argenteum Astrum, which is also called the Order S.S., both meaning Silver Star. Now let us look to LIBER AL VEL LEGIS, Chapter I, Verse 3: "Every man and every woman is a star." To put this matter simply: He/she who has fully Realised him/herself as the star that he/she actually is, i.e. anyone who has crossed the Abyss, is, not only in a sense, a member of the A.·.A.·., but actually is the A.·.A.·.!
"Every active Member of the Order has destroyed all that He is and all that He has on crossing the Abyss; but a star is cast forth in the Heavens to enlighten the Earth, so that he may possess a vehicle wherein he may communicate with mankind. The quality and position of this star, and its functions, are determined by the nature of the incarnations transcended by him." [43]
As to the Master of the Temple; pertaining to his mental functions: "In the Ruach all the laws of logic apply: they don't in Neschamah." [44]
"The essential Attainment is the perfect annihilation of the personality which limits and oppresses his true self.
"The Magister Templi is pre-eminently the Master of Mysticism, that is, His Understanding is entirely free from internal contradiction or external obscurity; His word is to comprehend the existing Universe in accordance with His own Mind. He is the Master of the Law of Sorrow (Dukkha)." [45]
"The Adept has performed the Great Work; He has reduced the Many to Naught; as a consequence, he is no longer afraid of the Many." [46]
"To the Master of the Temple opposite rules apply. His unity seeks the many, and the many is again transmuted to the one. Solve et Coagula." [47]
"I was cast out from the Abyss into 'the heaven of Jupiter as a morning star or as an evening star. And the light thereof shineth even unto the earth and bringeth hope and help to them that dwell in the darkness of thought and drink of the poison of life.' It was therefore for me to attend strictly to the Great Work which had been appointed for me by the Secret Chiefs, to dwell in communion with mine Holy Guardian Angel and to write down the instructions by following which men might attain 'to the Summum Bonum, True Wisdom and Perfect Happiness'." [48]
"Different Masters of the Temple may be cast out into different spheres." [49]
And so, as the Master Therion was cast out into the Sphere of Jupiter (Chesed) to do his Work, the Master Keallach was cast out into the Sphere of Mars (Geburah) to accomplish his.
As to the work which a Master of the Temple must do: "He is hidden under the earth and tends his garden. These gardens are of many kinds, but in every case he treats the roots of the flowers in various ways. Each flower gives birth to a maiden, save one, of which cometh a man child who shall be Nemo after him. Nemo must not seek to know which flower this is. He must tend his garden with absolute impartiality." [50]
But, you question, if the Adept has surrendered all that he was upon the crossing of the Abyss, what then is left to continue the Work once the Master is cast out into the appropriate Sphere?
"If his function is to be that of a warrior, he would find himself in Geburah...
"He, the Master, inhabits this dwelling; but, having already got rid of it, he is able to allow it to carry on according to its nature without interference from the false Self (its head in Daäth) which hitherto had hampered it. ('If I were a dog, I should bark; if I were an owl I should hoot,' says Basil King Lamus in The Diary of a Drug Fiend.) He is totally indifferent to the Event; so then he acts and reacts with perfect elasticity. This is the Way of the Tao; and that is why you cannot grasp the very idea of the Way--much less follow it!--unless you are a Master of the Temple." [51]
"...those other parts of me that I had left for ever below the Abyss must serve as a vehicle for the energies which had been created by my act. My mind and body, deprived of the ego which they had hitherto obeyed, were not free to manifest according to their nature in the world, to devote themselves to aid mankind in its evolution." [52]
"The Sankharas (the constituent elements) of the man that has become a Master of the Temple, are reconstituted below the Abyss so that they can function as an Exempt Adept. But their permanent function is in that grade to which their centre of gravity (so to speak) tends." [53]
"For even thus must we veil the brilliance of our Self." [54]
"I am not I; I am but an hollow tube to bring down Fire from Heaven." [55]
And so, having crossed the Abyss and Become fully a Master of the Temple, and cast out into the Sphere of Mars, does it not seem right that Frater K should return to "the Steel City"? And look to the symbolism in even the common things: Frater K begins in his city on ALder Street, (AL being ALL/God); he makes his journey across this country, approximately 2,000 miles; then he returns to his city of origin but to a place he calls "The Hermitage", located on LeGrogan Drive, (LE or LA being NOT/Goddess).
Here, at the Hermitage, the Master Keallach makes a G.M.R.: "For solitude sometimes is best society, And short retirement urges sweet return." [56]
One of his reasons for this G.M.R.: "Part of the effect of crossing the Abyss is that it takes a long time to connect the Master with what is left below the Abyss." [57]
Further: "SHABATAI represents Saturn as the planet of repose..." [58]
He lives, for a time, as a Hermit--not as the self-denying hermits of the old aeon, but rather as a Thelemic Hermit of the New Aeon: "Behold! these be grave mysteries; for there are also of my friends who be hermits. Now think not to find them in the forest or on the mountain, but in beds of purple, caressed by magnificent beasts of women with large limbs, and fire and light in their eyes, and masses of flaming hair about them; there shall ye find them..." [59]
Shortly after his arrival at the LeGrogan Hermitage, the gods gifted Frater K with a woman, amply fitting the above description, to entertain him for a time--and right good therapy she was too! And the lady's name was Lana; transliterated into Hebrew it is LNH (Lamed, Nun, He) which is 85, the numeration of Pe, PhH, the name of the Hebrew letter!
The most noteworthy thing to record since the arrival at the Hermitage is a certain astral experience which the Master Keallach had.
Frater K was transported in the Spirit, one might say, to a most awe-inspiring, magnificient, cathedral-like building. There did he meet with two other men and two women--young and attractive, or so they appeared in the astral. The men and one of the women had accepted the Grade of Magister Templi, while the other woman refused to accept her Grade. Frater K was told (in some manner) that these were the only legitimate Masters 'alive', i.e., in the body, on the earth today; himself, two other men and one woman. The other woman, Frater K felt sure, will one day accept her responsibility and then they will be five.
Frater K was forbidden to say more concerning this subject--for the present.
At times the Master still cries out, with 'indifferent passion', along with Milton's Adam: "O fairest of creation, last and best/Of all GOD's works, creature in whom excell'd/Whatever can to sight or thought be form'd,/Holy, divine, good, amiable or sweet!/How art thou lost, how on a sudden lost,/Defaced, deflower'd, and now to death devote!" [60]
While at other times doth he rejoice: "My God! O my God! I am but a speck in the star-dust of ages; I am the Master of the Secret of Things. I am the Revealer and the Preparer. Mine is the Sword--and the Mitre and the Winged Wand! I am the Initiator and the Destroyer." [61]
It cannot be doubted: "Thus, he is Man made God, exalted eager; he has come consciously to his full stature, and so is ready to set out on his journey to redeem the world. But he may not appear in this true form; the Vision of Pan would drive men mad with fear. He must conceal Himself in his original guise.
"He therefore becomes apparently the man that he was at the beginning; he lives the life of a man; indeed, he is wholly man. But his initiation has made him master of the Event by giving him the understanding that whatever happens to him is the execution of his true Will...The series of transformations has not affected his identity; but it has explained him to himself." [62]
So it is written, and with the money that would buy food, published--AN ACCOUNT OF THE CROSSING OF THE ABYSS, on this day given forth unto all men and women, Anno LXXVII i xxi, Sol in Aries 0° 46' 59", Luna in Libra 10° 22', the 21st day of March 1981 era vulgari.
Therefore had I faith unto the end of all; yea, unto the end of all." [63]
Witness my hand:
Frater Keallach 93/676 8°=3° A.·.A.·.
(Editor's Note: Since this subject is such a difficult one and since there are other incidents related to this account that the student may find interesting and instructive, some of the future Encyclicals may discuss this crossing.)
1. MAGICK WITHOUT TEARS, Letter A, by Aleister Crowley, edited by Israel Regardie, Llewellyn Publications, St. Paul, MN, U.S.A., 1973.
2. LIBER (A)L VEL LEGIS, The Book of the Law, Chapter II, Verses 53-54, published in THE EQUINOX, Vol. I, No. 10, Samuel Weiser, Inc., N.Y., U.S.A., 1974.
3. Ibid, Chapter III, Verse 42 - in part.
4. THE BOOK OF LIES, Chapter 73 - Commentary, by Aleister Crowley, Samuel Weiser, Inc., N.Y., U.S.A., 1974.
5. MAGICK WITHOUT TEARS, Letter G.
6. MAGICK (IN THEORY AND PRACTICE) by A.C., edited by Kenneth Grant and John Symonds, Samuel Weiser, Inc., N.Y., U.S.A., 1973.
7. Ibid.
8. PARZIVAL by Wolfram von Eschenbach, translated by Helen M. Mustard and Charles E. Passage, Vintage Books, N.Y., U.S.A., 1974
9. LIBER OS ABYSMI VEL DAATH SVB FIGVRA CDLXXIV, in THE EQUINOX, Vol. I, No. 7, Samuel Weiser, Inc., N.Y., U.S.A., 1974.
10. THE HEART OF THE MASTER by Khaled Khan (Aleister Crowley), 93 Publishing, Canada, 1973.
11. THE TAO TEH KING, Chapter XXVII - footnote, by Ko Yuen (Aleister Crowley), Thelema Publications, CA, U.S.A., 1975.
12. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 13th Aethyr - footnote, by A.C., edited by Regardie, SSangreal Foundation, Inc., TX, U.S.A., 1972.
13. THE CONFESSIONS OF ALEISTER CROWLEY, page 533, by A.C., edited by Symonds and Grant, Hill and Wang, N.Y., U.S.A., 1969.
14. Ibid, page 800.
15. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 11th Aethyr.
16. Ibid, 14th Aethyr.
17. Ibid.
18. Ibid, 12th Aethyr.
19. Ibid; this was before A.C. received the correct spelling of BABALON.
20. Ibid, 11th Aethyr.
21. LIBER 777 REVISED in THE QABALAH OF ALEISTER CROWLEY, Samuel Weiser, Inc., N.Y., U.S.A., 1973.
22. PARADISE LOST by John Milton, Airmont Publishing Company, Inc., N.Y., U.S.A., 1968.
23. THE CONFESSIONS, page 513.
24. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 14th Aethyr.
25. Ibid, 11th, Aethyr.
26. MAGICK, page 331.
27. THE CONFESSIONS, page 623.
28. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 10th Aethyr - footnote.
29. Ibid, text.
30. THE CONFESSIONS, page 623.
31. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 10th Aethyr.
32. MAGICK, page 332.
33. AHA! by A.C., Sangreal Foundation, Inc., 1969.
34. THE CONFESSIONS, page 840.
35. MAGICK WITHOUT TEARS, Letter 12.
36. THE BOOK OF LIES, Chapter 28.
37. Ibid, Chapter 60.
38. LITTLE ESSAYS TOWARD TRUTH, Man, by A.C., Dove Press, 1938 (?).
39. THE SOUL OF THE DESERT by A.C., Thelema Publications, 1974.
40. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 14th Aethyr.
41. THE CONFESSIONS, page 795.
42. Ibid, page 632.
43. MAGICK, page 329.
44. MAGICK WITHOUT TEARS, Letter 28.
45. MAGICK, page 331.
46. THE BOOK OF LIES, Chapter 83 - Commentary.
47. Ibid, Chapter 63 - Commentary.
48. THE CONFESSIONS, page 661.
49. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 14th Aethyr - footnote.
50. THE CONFESSIONS, page 622.
51. MAGICK WITHOUT TEARS, Letter 50.
52. THE CONFESSIONS, page 621-622.
53. THE VISION AND THE VOICE, 14th Aethyr - footnote.
54. LIBER LIBERI VEL LAPIDIS LAZVLI SVB FIGVRA VII, in THE HOLY BOOKS, by Aleister Crowley, Sangreal Foundation, Inc., TX, U.S.A., 1972.
55. THE BOOK OF LIES, Chapter 15.
56. PARADISE LOST, Book IX.
57. THE CONFESSIONS, page 628.
58. LIBER 777.
59. LIBER AL VEL LEGIS, Chapter II, Verse 24.
60. PARADISE LOST, Book IX.
61. LIBER VII, Chapter VII, Verses 25-27.
62. MAGICK, I.A.O.
63. LIBER VII, Chapter VII, Verse 52, "...The Birth-Words of a Master of the Temple."
So ends a review of Frater Keallach's Crossing of the Abyss and the works of Aleister Crowley and others pertaining to this Ordeal and related matters.
(TNN.III.5/6.0-25, 3/21/81 E.V.)